Dark prayer

Am I walking towards an abyss?
Is there a cure for this madness?
There is no hope, how can we escape it?
I sincerely don't want to.
I want her flames to consume me whole, her whim to mess me fully.
My mind to lose the right path, her smile to open gates from a hell for no one but me.

How then do you escape what you don't want to?
I know why.

How do I endure the truth of the unbreachable walls around her eyes?
That no heaven or fruit divine could soften her will towards me?

Oh I am here writing again! Like that...like then!
Not of love reciprocal but of infatuation damned!

My angel and demon! How thankful I am!
How miserable! How inadequate!

Burn me whole, screw the flesh of my body, laugh around, have your way and your fun.

Let me pray to you, offer you words as sacrifices and blood as tribute and yes, kisses as prayers.

Such a dark hour! There is no hope for me, the situation can't hold; I do know.

Such a happy moment! Your energy brings back words to my hands, to crash them against unamovable walls, to waste them trying to undo your will as it stands.

Miserable; blessed I stand indeed.