I cannot uncloud my judgement, it takes one bad day to see how bad things are going
And wish to give up or for a fucking sign, a way out.
There is a way out...Is there a way out?
I am not strong enough, not strong enough I wasn't in the past and after all this time...
I do not have will power I can only feel anger a lot of anger for the things I was unable to do
For the way my hand was played.
Not just today but everyday for the last 12 years.
It takes one day to see how screwed up all days are.
And then the value itself becomes insignificant but the offense, the trick, the things that happened before
The things we never did, the words never said.
It is clouding me as long as I try to go to sleep and I don't have enough good things to try to stay awake.
It is a cold night.
A cold evening.
And I can feel all of my anger.
And I can't find the right way to fucking deal with all of this.

I am weak and I m reminded of such.


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