Me encontré algunas palabras tiradas en el espacio inmenso de mi mente que decidieron prevalecer cuando todas las demás habían sido borradas, lavadas, perdidas.
Eran palabras sobre el dolor, pero eran mías todavía y de nadie más.
Parecía la jugada adecuada.
Sleep now, rest well.
Save yourself for tomorrow, the kind of tomorrow that I won't see, the one in which you'll live by yourself, best case scenario you'll tell the stories of your parents, of me, of us all.
Sleep now and rest well, I know things that I have to do.
I figured I had to write a farewell note to no one in particular as death takes a hold around those that once made the world as I knew it, as death takes a hold on me that way,
I dreamt of a younger girl with a face like the one who brought an anime to live...
That's who I'm going to wait for, to search for, that's where this is gonna go.
But right now there is no one holding that place, the lists and that stuff it all crumbled down to nothing and it's fine.
I'd need to work on myself but I don't really know how. I feel lost not because of what happened on the first third of the past month but rather I was lost before, the moment I couldn't keep the deadline that meant something. The moment that broke.
Other things remain
Now I know of things that are probably not going to happen, roads that I cannot follow...
I would have loved them maybe. I cannot tell why I had not the strenght to proceed with that.
Is the last train going home?
How am I gonna use the gifts that I have left? They are some.
Why am I doing this?
"How did the story end?" people are gonna ask in the future, some people, close to you eventually.
I am the voice inside your head and that's how I know what yer gonna answer "With a fucking void in the middle of my chest that froze my body entirely while threatening to grow bigger and bigger until it destroyed us whole"
A hole that eventually grew smaller and after sleeping for a whole day and eating nothing but a toast with ham disappeared.
A hole whose phantom pain might haunt us for days to come, like that thing with the given job and the crappy winter.
After said winter hits tho a summer rain appeared, a rain that should give us some peace.
And the truth is, I do feel lighter, the spell is finally broken and I can live with that.
I don't know where we are supposed to go from here...but I have some ideas, the ideas are not about muses n sirens n women right now and that's good enough, it feels like good enough.
Whatever the future holds is actually a present enygma entirely and there is beauty in that.
The path is my own.
There are no more any S-Tier angel ruling it, there is no more storytelling to be preserved, there is only whole new stories to create starting on a new zero.
The idea should give us some confort and it does.
Does indeed.
La incógnita no te atormentará más, te atormentará la resolución, pero la resolución existe.
Es un día oscuro para ambos lados, no hubo historia pero hubo un mal cierre, ese es el nivel de absurdo de todo esto.
En nuestra situación actual empieza a surgir la pregunta de si disfrutaste lo suficiente la vida que llamábamos cotidiana mientras la tuviste, me gusta creer que si, en realidad no lo se, fui a una convención poco antes de que todo se fuera al diablo, lamento no haber ido a la otra, más humilde pero igualmente entrañable, asistí a algún concierto de música clásica de videojuegos y luego a otro de música navideña sin imaginar que serían los últimos en un buen tiempo, ahora les observo a través de las pantallas del móvil con bastante nostalgia, grabamos hasta que no pudimos grabar más -quiero grabar de nuevo y debo empezar a admitir que quizá no sea posible, ya he hecho los gastos de todos modos-.
No se a donde ir sino puedo grabar este año.
El año casi inicio con una fogata en un lugar frío y neblinoso, fui a expiar fantasmas pero creé nuevos espectros, no solo para mi.
Una extraña oscuridad fue conjurada, de la que otros tendrán que salir con sus fuerzas.
En cuanto a mi, me quité un par de cadenas, me otorgué un par de aptitudes, deje fluir un sentimiento lindo y me atreví a que noticias de este llegaran, desde mis manos a quien lo provoco, siento que es el camino adecuado.
El año termina con una fogata en un lugar con el cielo despejado, descendí a la cueva como Luke...
Descendí a la cueva como Luke!
