The other side of the coin

 There cannot be a sense of belonging, it really can't
She does not belong to me, that much I knew from the start, that is not a lie I could ever tell myself and the world is better because of that.
But I do belong to her a little, and I long for the daily things that I cannot have, just as my world reminds me how little control of my life I have, how I couldn't make a spot for her within it...my soul still longs for that smile to begin mornings that I'm not supposed to have, at least not daily and not frequently.

And yet I do belong a little to this feeling, as it overwhelmed me and it worked for the first time in such a long while and when it is, it feels correct, it makes me feel, it is the most I can have, it is what my chaos can aspire to.

And at times it can be peace, but it is not a lasting peace, I shall learn that, this fact that it will go up in such a nice way...and then it will fade for a longer while.

Me, the one who always wrote tragedies and never sins obviously found just the right way to weave a tragedy into my perfect, beautiful, revitalizing sin.

This love is and it will heal and it will hurt like a greek tragedy, those are the ones I loved the most, never ever realized I would live them up as life kept going on.