Rains of June

 I went there through the rain, not a heavy one, rather a soft one that felt like a gentle stroke. 
It was a little further down the road than expected, but adventures, adventures shouldn't be entirely expected, I'm not getting any younger.

Did we fail? It's certainly possible, but I don't feel like it was all for nothing, I felt like a stupid teenager on a park...like I felt once but this time in the terms of the world and not just my own. 

The lines between then and now, I can see them somehow clearly, someway distorted. 

In the future, when I have to compare myself to others I will do so only on my terms, here and there I've already lost but not everywhere, and there are places where whatever victory I can still claim is victory enough.

I walked there, down the rain and waited and waited, cuz I had to, just once, to see someone I wasn't supposed to meet but ended up seeing anyway, for her it might end up being a weird unremarkable friday, but going there makes it kinna special for me. 

And the night was white for a little while. 

I had to wake up with the euphoria and the booze gone to realize that maybe I lost again in the eyes of others, but not to mine. 

Even this day, as late as it is, can still be saved and the week can still be saved as well.